


Something I Need

by quiznakeries



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, POV Shiro (Voltron), Pining, Season/Series 07, Watching Someone Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24661798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiznakeries/pseuds/quiznakeries
Summary: In his life, there had never been a moment in which he’d imagined a future. Growing up, he’d known he was written up for a short life, or at the very least a short number of years during which he could be himself. As the champion, he’d fought to survive another day. There was no dream of after, of a future.As the leader of Voltron, his goal was the same as it had always been. To achieve as much as possible before his time was up.But now?
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	Something I Need

**Author's Note:**

> eh fuck it the challenge got all messed up bc life, but i'll be posting all prompts as soon as i'm able anyway ✌
> 
> Based on OneRepublic’s “Something I Need”, bc it makes this dumdum author very soft.

**Prompt 10: Watching the other sleep**

_ I had a dream the other night _

_ About how we only get one life _

_ Woke me up right after two _

_ I stayed awake and stared at you _

_ So I wouldn't lose my mind _

  
  


Waking up to a cold sweat and racing heart isn’t anything new. Shiro has been dealing with sleeping trouble since he was just a kid with nightmares about his disease. 

He remembers it well still, waking up panting in his bunk at the Garrison, fresh fears of never achieving anything before his body would betray him bringing him out of sleep almost every night. He remembers Adam coming to find him in the gym at four in the morning, staying with him until he was ready to go back to their room.

After he was taken by the Galra, the nature of his dreams changed. Or at least he thought they did, until recently.

Traveling through space in the weakened lions, with nothing to do but pass the time, he’s taken his time to reflect. And he realized, that no matter the contents of his dreams, it was always the same. His fear of failure, and the abstract image of death he’s created through his life, are always the stars of his terrors.

Death had become more of a concept than a fact to him, after all he’s been through. Awaiting an early death all through his teens and young adulthood. Being taken by the Galra and fighting in the pits. Escaping and crashing back to earth. Fighting a war as the leader of Voltron. Losing his body but living on in the Black Lion’s consciousness. Living on another plane but also as a clone, merging those memories when he re-entered the mortal world.

It’s been two days since he returned, and he’s had some time to think. To let it sink in just how lucky he is to be here.

The dream that woke him now, with the altean clock on the door panel reading just past two am, was one in a long line of a recurring vision. 

In his life, there had never been a moment in which he’d imagined a future. Growing up, he’d known he was written up for a short life, or at the very least a short number of years during which he could be himself. As the champion, he’d fought to survive another day. There was no dream of after, of a future.

As the leader of Voltron, his goal was the same as it had always been. To achieve as much as possible before his time was up.

But now?

His disease is gone. There’s a good chance he’ll come out of this war alive. He might actually have a future, a life beyond the mission that dictates his life for now. 

It’s an odd thought when you’ve technically died and come back more than once already, but for the first time, Shiro feels the weight of having only one life. One life to treasure, and to live properly.

It’s been messing with his head.

Below his bunk, sleeping soundly on a cot with his arm hanging off the bed and into the thick fur of the space wolf snoring next to him, is Keith.

Keith is also part of these dreams that have begun to scramble his brain, day and night.

Shiro figures it’s to be expected. Keith is the most important person left in his life, and he’s been there through it all. How many times has Shiro come back from hell, and been met by Keith’s face before anything else? More times than he can count, by now.

Keith has always been there to bring him back. To save him, no matter what the cost. He’s the reason Shiro has this chance for a real future, the one who gave him this life.

It was a realization he’s still got to decide if it was a good thing or not. For while he doubts Keith would willingly leave him behind, he’s also starting to think maybe he can’t live without Keith. Maybe if Keith isn’t there, he can’t have that life.

And that train of thought brought on something bigger, and all that much heavier. Maybe without Keith he can’t have the life he’s been granted, but would he even want to?

Life without Keith, would it be worth it?

Shiro watches the boy turned man drool in his sleep, mouth hanging open and strands of silky black hair falling into his face. 

Now isn’t the time, he isn’t ready for this. Yet he can’t bring himself to stop staring at Keith, the guiding light he’s come to depend on. Can’t help how the image of his sleeping form puts Shiro’s raging mind at ease, makes the terrors of his dreams feel far away.

It isn’t the time to investigate the way Keith’s presence puts a lid on his anxiety, and makes him feel alive.

It isn’t the time, but someday soon, it will be.

  
  


_ And I had the week that came from hell _

_ And yes I know that you could tell _

_ But you're like the net under the ledge _

_ When I go flying off the edge _

_ You go flying off as well _

  
  


Settling into the clones body, adjusting to not only having a physical form again but to the memories gathered by a version of him that wasn’t him- it’s a lot. 

Being cramped up in a lion with a number of people doesn’t help much, even if one of them is Keith.

Actually, he thinks maybe being so close to Keith at all times right now is getting in the way of him adapting properly. So with a very vaguely executed explanation, he transfers to the Green Lion for a little while. It’s a win-win, getting something like a change of scenery but also keeping the youngest paladin company. 

It’s on his second day with Pidge that the comms ping with an incoming call from Keith.

Pidge greets him absentmindedly, lost in her video game that Shiro has been half watching for the past hour while trying to get out of his own head and mostly failing.

“Hey Kei-“

“Shiro.” Keith’s tone is off, and Pidge seems to think so to as she turns to raise an eyebrow at Shiro. “Could you take this call somewhere private?”

“Uh-“ Shiro watched as Pidge leaned over to detach a pad from the control panel, offering it to him with a questioning look. “Yeah, yes, of course. One moment.”

Keith doesn’t respond, and Shiro’s head is spinning as he makes his way down to Green’s tiny sleeping quarters. He takes a seat on the edge of the bottom bunk, and clicks the video feed button.

The screen fills with Keith and Black’s cockpit. The wolf and Krolia are nowhere to be seen.

“Hey.” Keith says softly, and it’s like something tightens around Shiro’s heart. “Are you doing alright? I know you’re having a hard time adjusting and if staying out of Black for a while works that’s great but I’m-“

Shiro raises a hand to make his friend pause, and Keith quiets down quickly. His eyes are wide and worried, and Shiro is torn on how that makes him feel.

On one hand, it’s incredibly cute how Keith cares so much he drives himself into a frenzy. On the other, Shiro hurts seeing him latch onto Shiro’s behavior and letting him drag Keith with him like this.

“I’m okay. I have a lot on my mind, is all.” He watches Keith’s shoulders drop little by little as he speaks. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I always worry about you.”

Shiro snorts, and offers a small smile that Keith mimics. “I’m aware.”

They talk some more after that, because Keith is an amazing friend who wants to make sure Shiro is on the right track, that he’s doing all the therapy exercises Allura has provided him with.

He ends up promising to get back to Black later that night.

It’s not unusual for him to be the first to go to sleep. Especially not under the circumstances, with two other people and a space wolf that sleep in the same tiny space he does prefer going to bed early so that he can be conked out once it’s time for the others to settle in. 

It is however unusual to wake up to the room so quiet, so empty. But as he draws breath, listening to the rushing sound in his ears as he attempts to calm his body from the dream, he feels it. 

Shiro looks down at Keith, as he always does. But where the wolf is usually curled up there is nothing, and neither can Shiro hear the soft sleeping breaths of Krolia in the top bunk.

The clock reads four am, they should be here.

There’s an instant blare of alarm in his mind, making his heart jump right back into its erratic panic, and he has to stop himself from throwing himself out of bed head first to try and figure things out.

It’s an ugly feeling, putting restraints on his own limbs like this. But that as well as everything else is something he’s going to need to relearn how to do. The body isn’t the one he was born into, but it is his, now. It’s okay for him to do with it as he pleases. 

He takes a long, deep breath, and tries to cool himself down. He lets his eyes wander back to the man sleeping below, and it’s like the sight alone raises a force field between him and his irrational panic.

Keith is the lightest sleeper he’s ever known, a foster child on constant alert alive somewhere in him still. If Krolia and the wolf were in trouble, Keith would know. He wouldn’t be here, smacking his sleep dry lips in his slumber, if there was anything they needed to tend to.

Shiro nods to himself, convinced that his trust in Keith is right. 

It’s not enough to get him back to a state in which he can see himself falling back to sleep, but at least his rapid heartbeat is starting to slow down.

With a sigh, he settles into a sitting position on his bunk. He listens to the quiet sounds of the lion, the whirs and ticks and the almost there sound of a sleeping creature. His bond with Black is much different, these days. It’s not like it was when he was her paladin, and not quite like when he was part of her mind, either. He still hears her within himself, but on which level of depth that they’re connected comes and goes. Like she can’t decide on where he belongs within her bubble of magic, anymore.

He finds himself watching Keith sleep again, following the rise and fall of his chest as Shiro’s mind wanders.

With every passing moment, he relaxes some more, and his thoughts become less deep, less vast. Eventually his mind is at ease, with a singular focus he can hold onto. And the object of his thoughts remains asleep, indigo eyes and sharp mind hidden to the universe for the time being.

For the past few minutes, Keith keeps twitching, wrinkling his nose as a strand of hair tickles his face.

Shiro knows too well what it means when the little scene makes his chest warm. When all he can think about is how cute the black paladin looks like this.

And Shiro is only so strong. He can’t fight the urge to rearrange himself enough so that he can reach Keith’s face, brush the bothersome lock away in order to allow Keith better rest.

But before he’s gotten as far as to tucking the hair back behind Keith’s ear, a strong hand whips up to grab his wrist. Shiro startles, but doesn’t pull away. He doesn’t want to provoke his friends' instincts any further.

Eyes that are too awake for having been fast asleep only seconds earlier find Shiro’s in the half dark, and Shiro stares back into them. He feels a little silly, because part of him knew very well that breaking into Keith’s personal space would most likely wake him, but he went ahead and did it anyway. 

He doesn’t mind getting caught as much as he probably should, but he does feel bad for interrupting Keith’s rest.

“Shiro?” Keith’s voice comes out a rough half whisper.

“Sorry to wake you, you were-” Shiro catches himself, because even before the words can leave his mouth he knows what explaining himself will sound like. “Never mind.”

Keith’s grip on his wrist tightens in a squeeze. He’s got an eyebrow raised in question at Shiro, but he doesn’t seem prone to push.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks instead, after a long moment of silence, and Shiro is grateful for the opening to change the subject.

“Had a bad dream.” 

Keith’s face softens, and he lets go of Shiro’s wrist to allow himself to get up. Shiro watches him move, slightly sluggish with sleep, out of his cot and up to sit on the edge of Shiro’s bunk. Keith reaches for his arm again, this time clasping both his hands around Shiro’s and holding it there, resting on his lap.

Shiro moves to sit up more comfortably, accepting some help from Keith who isn’t letting go of his hand.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Keith offers, blue eyes holding Shiro more firmly than his hands.

Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep, the foggy feeling that comes with being too tired mixed with the daze he always finds himself in after coming down from a panic. Maybe he was just so terribly unprepared to have Keith catch him watching him sleep like this and it’s making his mind create things that aren’t there. He thinks the  _ something  _ filling out the space in their sleeping quarters must be just in his head.

But there’s a presence becoming clearer by the second, and he knows the rumble of Black’s non-voice soul deep.

Shiro shakes his head in response to Keith’s question, blinking slowly. He’s suddenly too aware of his breath, the clamminess of his hand caught between Keith’s palms. Shiro feels it so deeply, the swell of emotion that Black is pumping into his consciousness. Emotions that are his, some of them. His, the clone’s. But beyond that, there’s someone else's. Feelings strong enough to be almost touchable, fierce and powerful but tucked away in the corner of a man’s mind.

Keith must be feeling it too, Black communicating with her paladins, because he too seems to be losing himself to the awareness surrounding them now.

Shiro  _ knows _ . It makes sense because he  _ feels  _ what Keith feels, and it’s like nothing’s ever been so obvious. So perfectly clear.

Keith beats him to it, tilting his head and stretching his neck, moving slowly as if still in disbelief. Shiro meets him, dipping down and letting dry lips slot together.

There’s an overwhelming roar, in his mind and in his body, and he feels the surge of not just his own but  _ Keith’s _ emotions manifesting across the bond and seeping into the physical plane. A burst of almost-wind catches on his clothes, his hair. 

He feels Keith’s long hair tickle his face where they’re floating in a moment of zero gravity, and detangles his hand from Keith’s grip to let his fingers run through wild locks, pressing closer. Keith’s hands grab on tight to Shiro’s shirt, as if they’d float apart if he doesn’t hold on.

Shiro told himself this wasn’t the time to explore how Keith makes him feel, that they have an intergalactic war to finish and that there isn’t room for his heart.

But he knows, as Keith sighs happily into his mouth, that he’s been wrong all along.

He’s been granted a true second chance, and what there really isn’t time for, is putting things off.


End file.
